Leng's chronicle...

Force of evil!!!

How strong is the force of evil? My greatest challenge to overcome evil force is when the moment I pray, prayer is the elevation of the mind and heart to God in praise of his glory; a petition made to God for some desired goods or in thanksgiving for a goods received, or in intercession for others before God. Through prayer we experience a communion with God through Christ in the Church so in this moment of silence, we should lift up our whole self to GOD and contemplate whole heartedly, but EVIL sucks… every time I pray, evil is clinging on me, I talked to God but my sub-conscious mind is thinking of anything (what to eat, what to buy, unforgettable experience within the day, everything) to interfere my communication with GOD and it is extremely difficult to overcome with. The statistics of my successful prayers is 60% over 40%. The 60% is interfered by evil and the 40% is success. See how evil works? But damn you SATAN!!! Now I know the technique of having successful prayer with God.

To overcome the force of evil, we need to give more time when we pray, 5 minutes is not enough, it will just worsened it. At first, ask GOD to be with you, call His spirit, when you feel his presence or your sub-conscious is thinking of him praise him, praise him for the good things he have given you, if your mind is still out to somewhere else or to something else, continue praising HIM praise and praise and talk to GOD until the power of evil will be overpowered by GOD and that you will realize you are talking to him as your friend, telling him everything you worried about, your petitions, heartaches, failures, emptiness, achievements and everything. I have come across this experience and it was my greatest moment with GOD an experience of desiring to go over and over again with GOD. It’s the greatest triumph I had; defeating evil is indeed a fulfillment.

Believers will tell us that GOD is everywhere but evil too is everywhere that’s for sure. When we attend Eucharist, we feel so sleepy when the Priest will deliver his homily, but when our friend will tell us about someone’s funny outfit, overdo make up, cute guys and etc. we will be awakened and bully those innocents who were evil’s instruments for his combat with GOD. Damn thing!!! Reality isn’t it?

I was struck with this line, is it for real? That when you exit you can always find entry somewhere? I’ve been holding on for a love that I should say stupid love. I was hurt many times, I was a slave just to get a piece of love but I was happy though it’s just that there are many factors that shits around…

Why shit happens? Foolish… do I need to gamble to see whether there’s really an entry somewhere? I don’t want to be imprisoned with false hope because the percentage of the success of the dreams that I am holding on is very little yet I’m holding on with that small percentage huhuhu… But I’m scared to enter another entrance though what should I do? Well, can I just say I want to stay single forever? What do you think?

Emptiness

All of us have our own sentiments and loneliness. When I’m in solitude, I have the fear to be left alone. I don’t want to shed tears and I don’t want to see the corners of those memories. I would probably divert my time into doing foolish things. Most of us experience extreme loneliness. Others would say it’s unbearable (no such thing though). Although it is good to experience this so that when it strikes you once again, you are strong enough to overcome it yet, the magnitude of the pain will never dwindled over and over again.

Confusion has led me to many wrong conclusions which give me yet another misery. Wrong decisions or no decision at all is also playing around with my feelings. Well someone taught me feelings will fade, so I better stand on that conviction. However what if what you have been through is not just feelings? What if this is LOVE oh man… I do not want to grief over it once more… Why we need to feel emptiness??

Duhhh… I am living because of LOVE yet LOVE is leaving me behind huhuhu... Please let’s help fill each other’s emptiness because no one can ever complete their lives by themselves, we need somebody…

Hi, it's been a while since I update my blog. I was so busy these days. Well it wouldn't be long I just want to share a good experience.

Hahaha... You don't have an idea what am I talking about do u? Well, I had a good chit chat with an unexpected charismatic friend. Unexpected because I don't see her as someone I can share with my emo's (life's drama)At first I thought she's SUPLADA (hehehe PEACE)...Charismatic because I just felt a sudden feeling of ease and trust to share my sentiments.

Are you Introvert or extrovert? I chose this title because people often see me as Introvert. Introvert is defined as one who focuses primarily on their own mind, feelings, or affairs, and in contrary, Extrovert is a person concerned more with practical realities than with inner thoughts and feelings. I define myself as introvert because my plans, my dreams, my emo's is kept within me all these years yet, when I talked to her, I just caught myself describing almost who I am, my grudges, my pains etc. Although I haven't said enough which kept the part of me remained sealed within me I don't think I can endure of keeping those if I will keep on talking with her.

You may be asking, what's my point now! What am I trying to say? I just wanted to share that there are really gifted people capable of touching other lives and may be able to heal wounds out of expectation.

I just want to let you know that the principle of "I don't talk to stranger" may be a big lost for us because we will never know that the destined person who could have help us erased the questions, confusions, doubts and all those negativities in life could have been knocking on our doors yet we refuse to allow them to come in.

I may not be able to speak out everything but I felt contentment when I talked to her. For those introverts out there of course, the process of opening ourselves to others is so difficult so just share it gradually and sincerely. Then you would somehow free up some negative energies you have been keeping inside.

I am not a good listener because of the fact that I don't often open myself up for others. For those who have gift of being a good listener. I praised you people... Keep it up and continue...

This is your calling, this is your journey and this is one of the reason of your existence...